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Relationship Suffering In The Bedroom

For many couples across the UK relationship problems start in the bedroom. Sexual problems between partners can happen at any point in their relationship, especially when one or both of you are stressed or at a time of change. Essentially sex is one of the great rewards of being together, and forms an important part of a relationship. It is, for many, the difference between friendship and a relationship.

Sexual Compatibility

Sexual issues in a relationship can occur for a multitude of reasons. One partner may feel frequency of sex is a way to gauge how loved and valued they are, whilst the other partner may feel that intimacy is the benchmark. If a couple go off sex, it can be an indication of their attitude to love, trust and control. The problem may be about unsatisfying sex or their sexual problem way indicate a deeper underlying issue that needs to be discussed.

Some couples experiencing sexual issues say:

  • Sex is uncomfortable or painful for one partner
  • One or both partners have gone off sex, so it is no longer on the agenda,
  • Disappointing Sex
  • Sex causes rows and arguments between the couple

The causes of some sexual problems can be:

  • Pregnancy
  • Ageing
  • Low self confidence and self esteem
  • Stress
  • Betrayal or an affair(s)
  • Physical (such as illness, drugs or alcohol)

Often couples experience these problems because they haven’t had the opportunity to explore their own sexuality, and families often pass on negative attitudes and thoughts about sex which can cause distress in couples. Sometimes traumatic experiences can also effect a couples sex life, these experiences can emerge in current relationships, with trust and understanding these experiences can be overcome.

Sexual counseling can be highly effective in the treatment of sexual issues in a relationship. Family myths and taboos can be explored and be dismissed if appropriate. If sex used be a highlight of the relationship why has this changed? Has it always been disappointing? With trained help there is the opportunity to find the answer

Counseling can help a couple explore their understandings of what sex means, and what they each expect from their relationship both physically and mentally. A couple can stop having sex when one partner has no other release for anger or disappointment, it can also be used to punish the other partner.

You can find out more information about how relationship counseling and sexual counseling could help you by visiting Counseling Directory. You can also search by your location to find a counsellor in your area.

Women’s Number One Complaint in the Bedroom

Men are different than women. Everybody knows this. But what makes men and women different in bed?

And more to the point: What do women really want in bed?
While every  woman’s body is wired differently, there are some common preferences and male sexual performance complaints among many women.

Of course the following is generalized, and may not apply to all women… but it does apply to the majority of women, the majority of the time.

Ladies Beef With Guys Sexual Attitude

Ask almost any woman her number-one beef about her sex life and she’ll tell you: It’s guy’s attitude toward a sexual encounter.

Fine, but you’re not going to get a lot of action if you don’t give her what she wants. And it’ll be way hotter if you do.
Here’s what women actually want:

  • Sometimes women want touch that does not lead to sex.
  • Sometimes women want good sex –without penetration.
  • Oftentimes women don’t want sex to be over after you ejaculate.

While men are very goal oriented, women tend to be more experience oriented. With men, the common goal with sexual performance (whether alone or with a partner) is orgasm and ejaculation, and with a partner the goal also includes a stiff penetration.

Not tonight, honey…

Most women have said — and most men have heard — a variation of, ” Not tonight, dear, [insert excuse here].”

Sometimes this results from a difference of what each person wants and what they think the other person wants.
The common pattern of sex is:

Foreplay — Penetration — Male Orgasm — End

Often, men will rush into sex with the intention of penetration. Following the same pattern can get mechanical and boring — especially for a woman.

Sex can be VERY enjoyable even without penetration. And guys, sex doesn’t have to be over after you “finish.”

The Secrets of Better Sex… and MORE Sex!

Understand the needs of your woman. Enjoy the pleasure of touch without sex. Start touching her without expecting or initiating sex. Involve many parts of her body. Rub her shoulders, hold her hand, put your arm around her.

It will pay off later when she wants you. She may even begin to initiate sex more.

Touch her all over. Whether during sexual or non-sexual touch, remember that the skin is the largest sex organ.

Women enjoy and get turned on by more than just their breasts and genitals.

Start exploring some of her special places. Where does she enjoy touch?

Could it be her neck, her back, the insides of her thighs, behind her knees, the insides of her elbows?

Where does she like a feather touch; where does she like a firm touch; where does she like a hot kiss?

Learn her body language; learn her sounds. Find out what she likes and when.

Change things up a bit. Adventure keeps things fresh and exciting. Try taking penetration off the menu every once in a while. Communicate this to her beforehand. Tell her that you want to focus on her pleasure.

When you do have intercourse, and when you do ejaculate, save enough energy to offer her more.

Whether she wants another orgasm or just a cuddle, give her some positive closure before rolling over and going to sleep.

That way, she’ll want to repeat the whole experience again and again…

Andrew Faix

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